Working myself into a tizzy working on my MBA application

I think I’ve decided to apply for an MBA in Sustainability. I’m looking at an online program through a university in Portland, Oregon and have just submitted my application. I now need to turn my attention to writing an essay and gathering up character references.  I say “I think I’ve decided” because part of me has no idea if this is the right thing to do or not. I earned a BA in History so that should be enough to explain the tentativeness I feel about the decision. I love history, I still read history books from all time periods, about all types of people, from all over the place. I love reading about how people lived, what they talked about and wore, their passions and dramas; I think it’s fascinating but also, in practical terms, not very lucrative by most general standards of making a living.  And so my only hesitation is a fear that after the money has been spent and I’ve spent a couple of years thinking groovy thoughts with similar-minded groovy people, I’ll be forced to server Shiner Bock and BBQ at the Rib House in Boulder. And I simply cannot afford that financially, professionally, emotionally and any other -ally(s) you can think of.  But I also have a strong belief that this is the right path for me. I’ve been studying the field for a couple of years now; I’m a LEED AP, I’ve mentored with some great people in the field and I’m currently enrolled in the Sustainability Management Program at CU so I’m invested.

So, I spent this morning working on my personal essay, identifying my goals and professional history and ambitions. It’s kind of tough. I have had to think back through my career and see if I can detect any themes that have brought me to this point and to continue successfully show how an MBA can help.  I’m having to think about important professional experiences and I suspect they don’t want to hear about the time my co-worker and I laughed so hard people on the other side of the building could hear us, or how we coped being unable to drink the water at another place I worked. I’m fairly certain that graduate schools are swelling with new applicants since the economy did its dance on the brink and lots of people are casting their attention backwards at their experiences over the years.  One thing about it, we do spend a lot of time at work. A LOT. And I do  wonder how much of it is a luxury to say I want to do something meaningful or fulfilling, if it is just self-indulgent crap to think this way. But I guess if you are given a chance to make a difference why wouldn’t you. And if you do have the luxury to look back over your accomplishment I guess your more beholden in many ways to have actually done something other than makes gobs of cash a la Goldman Sachs (I mean, really, all that education and breaks in life and what did they produce or create other than wealth for themselves).

Tonight I am off to yet another networking event. This one is called the “Colorado Green Tech Group April Meetup” and it’s a biggie and I only have two remaining biz cards. What happens if I’m a hit. Maybe I’ll auction them off.

An Introvert & Networking

Copyright © 2007 davidwallphoto.com

Like a nervous giraffe stealing a drink from a watering hole in the savanna as a pride of lions looks on is not far off how I feel when I first enter a networking event.

I know I am not the only one who feels out of their element when trying to strike up a conversation with someone they don’t know. But given the environment I guess you could say we are all in this together. I just wonder if other people have to take a week off from talking for each event they attend. It’s not like I am working on new material in between gigs, it just takes a lot out of me to appear ‘on’. I also take things to heart, so when people say “gosh, there are a lot you Web designers/developers around and staring their own businesses” I immediately feel like a rushed and hated sequel – think Star Drones.

My general tactic is to bounce between people, the bar and the buffet. If I lose my nerve, don’t see a friendly face or an open group, I head straight to the bar or the buffet. Even if I don’t need another drink or another chip with salsa (which are impossible to eat without spilling tomatoes down the front of yourself) I use the time to take a deep breath before plunging back in. It seems to work for me but probably looks erratic to someone observing me from a distance as I boomerang around the room. But I would say to them, “hey, you try introducing yourself while trying to quell the booming question in your head “WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?”.

One unexpected piece of goodness out of the whole networking thing is that I’ve been invited for coffee by a couple of different folks. Of course, this requires more talking and longer periods of recovery but it’s enjoyable to talk with people outside of my normal day-to-day.

So, because I am new to socializing with a purpose how will I know if I am doing it correctly, if I am successful networker? Collecting biz cards does not seem good enough; you can collect a bunch, stick them in cute/hip card folder and never look at them again. Is it having people ask me out for coffee? Is it noticing I am taking fewer naps after each engagement?  Is it getting a job?

Networking is not for sissies

Since being laid off I have attended a few networking events, some with former co-workers (they had been laid off, as well) and some on my own.  The ones you go to with friends are a little uncomfortable. I, for one, don’t want them to see me in the mode of the used (pre-owned) car salesman hawking my wares (me) to a group of people in similar straits as myself.  But I shouldn’t dwell on that too much as they are out there hawking their own goods or not. The last time we all went to one we stood around in a small cluster greeting all the people we knew from Sun Microsystems.  You’d see a familiar face and extending a hand, say “RIF class 09 or 10?”.

Whoever hosts these events really puts a lot of thought, energy and time into these meetings, so I am greatly appreciative! Often times there is food, a bar and a comfortable environment in which to meet new people. It almost sounds like a bar and it certainly has all the ingredients for a great happy hour if not for the undercurrent of panic, forced conversation, elation and disappointment.  Each of those emotions can be experienced while talking to a single person, who you didn’t know moments ago. There is the brief moment during the conversation when you are excited to meet someone from this unique-sounding field, distressed to hear that they were laid off so unceremoniously thus exposing themselves and their families to the uncertainties of no health insurance and then panic when you both realize that neither can help the other so you limp off to start the whole exchange again. No, not all conversations are like that but there certainly is an element to each one, even with those I intend to meet for coffee at some point.

Meeting for coffee is the date equivalent of having lunch: short, non-committal but there is interest. Actually, networking is not unlike speed dating. There’s the hip group everyone wants to talk with because maybe they are putting together a start-up; there’s the I-have-no-idea-what-I-am-doing-here segment wandering without purpose from person to person (that’s generally me) and there is the group, who you have no idea how they got hired in the first place and hope they have some sort of fund from which they can draw. Yes, that last one is a mean observation but it’s a front because they’re the ones I most worry about and they’re the ones who probably worry most about me. I just wonder if this market is willing to give the older, non-hip, well-educated but slightly awkward people (mostly men) a chance again? Is their success in this networking circus a predictor of them getting back into the 9-5 game? These are the guys, who probably have 2 or 3 degrees, are a little older and you’ll find them just beyond the periphery of the wanderers:

Yes, I am projecting my insecurities onto them but I can’t help but see that the vast majority of people at these events are older men. And I’m not interested in hearing about the HE or  She-cession as basically we can just call it a Sux-cession and it’s no fun for anyone. I always leave these sessions pretty pumped and optimistic but then like an evening spent over too many glasses of wine the euphoria gives way to a pounding head ache and a resolution to not do that again. I guess the reason I feel that way is because nothing seems to come of them and that’s probably my fault for not actually doing anything about it. We’ve got all these great people with amazing talents, we should come up with something or put on a show or do something constructive and fun. One thing is for certain “Americans are not bowling alone anymore”. Remember that book “Bowling Alone“. One thing about this Sux-cession is we are all back out there talking with each other, getting to know one another, offering each other support and listening to one another. I think that is one of the best things to come out of what has really been a terrible time for so many people. It’ll be interesting to see what happens when we all go back to work and you act like an a**-hole to me. Will I remember how distressed you looked or how concerned you were over your wife or will I just want to pop popcorn right next to your cubicle? Hard to say, really.

I’m a reactionary resume writer

I have never met anyone who enjoys working on their resume. I guess because you don’t think about it until you have to and then once you sit down to scale, pare-down, filter all the things you have done into pithy prose your mind goes into deep freeze. Or maybe that’s just me.

I’ve been working with Right Management and I have to admit they’ve been great. I’ve been to two course out at Right Management in Broomfield and aside from some truly tragic directions on their Web site, I think anyone would benefit from working with them. Their courses are insightful and their resume support team is excellent.  It’s interesting. On the whole I have to say my experience has been very positive. If I hadn’t had to be laid off, which made me eligible for this service, I can’t think I would have had any complaints about the whole process.

My first class out at Right Management was sort of like an “Introduction to Being RIFed”. Everyone had to stand up and say their name, where they worked and what they were planning to do next. I guess it was a bit of a catharsis because you could tell that some people were not handling the idea of unemployment too well. Don’t get me wrong, everyone was very professional and ready to get back to work but there were lots of emotions in that room and I’m sure I contributed my own.

I’m now in the resume writing phase and just got off the phone with a long list of things I need to do to improve it. Everything the Resume Case Study woman from Right Management said was correct but I didn’t want to hear it. I don’t know what other people think or feel going through this but at some point I get tired of hearing: “your resume needs to emphasize results”, “make sure you are networking”, “you’re going to need more than just a certification to get a job” etc. etc. All of these words of advice are absolutely correct and I can’t really explain why I didn’t want to hear it but I can now add that to a long list of things I don’t understand.

At any rate, I’m reworking my resume and will be sending it back to them tomorrow morning. I hope I am able to distill 10.5 years of experience into an enticing read for someone. And I do want to get it right because I am really optimistic about my next step and don’t want to blow it because my resume is a dud.