Please. No More Pick Me Up Talks for the Unemployed!

I got a call from, let’s call her Stacey, from Right Management to chat about my resume. To be fair, when I heard her voice I immediately felt like I was getting a call from you pick: (a) the dentist (b) law enforcement (b) accountant/irs (c) attorney (d) bob – the volunteer fireman robo-call, so I know she’s not getting me at my best. But this time I really, really tried.

Anyway, Stacey says “I’d like to spend a few minutes going over your resume”.

“Great, and it must not be too bad if it is only going to take a few minutes” I say. I’m feeling pretty chuffed as I really thought it might require a significant overhaul. So, we spend several minutes reviewing my summary and making some small sentence changes. No big thang.

But then she asks “How are you doing? How is your job search?”

I’m honest and say “I’ve been applying but not much of a nibble yet but that’s ok at the moment, to be honest. After the 7 years of lay-off roulette at Sun, I’m ok with a bit of a break”.

And this queues her buck-up speech and I don’t think I have quite recovered.

Stacey starts off by saying “…well these things take time and if you have the luxury to take some time, losing a job really introduces a whole grieving process. Have you ever lost a family member?”

I say, “no”. And wonder what exactly she means by luxury. I know what she means but that comment left a mark. I should have stopped her there but she continues.

“Losing a job is much like losing a loved one although not as bad. You’ve lost your income, your friends, the place where you used to go every day, your connections and you’ll be riding an emotional roller-coaster, which is completely normal. Give yourself some time.”

It was as if someone had knocked the stuffing out me, released the air in my helium balloon, drank all my wine by mistake and they still have their full glass. I finally responded as cheerily as I could “…thanks, Stacey, I’ll keep those words in mind”. And then hung up and thought is this how losing your job is perceived – that b/c I no longer have a 9-5 I have no money, no friends and am an emotional whirligig.  I know jobs are important, they’re: social, they pay you, they provide structure, etc. etc. but I think we need to update the buck up speech.

The loss of income is catastrophic – no other way about it. But lumping that in with this idea of  losing  friends,  your place in the world, your routine because you are no longer employed is a lot to burden someone with who has lost their job. So, not only are these perceptions of despair projected onto me, I’m actually out of a job too. sheeeshhhhh….I’m probably making more out of it than there is or maybe I just feel that way after writing it all out.

Here’s an idea for a buck-up speech. How about focusing on volunteering? We have all these amazing people out of work can’t we engage them in collective volunteer efforts helping out in their community.  And if you think that is socialism, get your own damn blog.  Or setting up informational interviews where you can find out about different fields and the educational path to get there. Or have one of us recently unemployed teach a class in our field – passing on our expertise and maybe finding a new opportunity.

And I do have friends…