Working myself into a tizzy working on my MBA application

I think I’ve decided to apply for an MBA in Sustainability. I’m looking at an online program through a university in Portland, Oregon and have just submitted my application. I now need to turn my attention to writing an essay and gathering up character references.  I say “I think I’ve decided” because part of me has no idea if this is the right thing to do or not. I earned a BA in History so that should be enough to explain the tentativeness I feel about the decision. I love history, I still read history books from all time periods, about all types of people, from all over the place. I love reading about how people lived, what they talked about and wore, their passions and dramas; I think it’s fascinating but also, in practical terms, not very lucrative by most general standards of making a living.  And so my only hesitation is a fear that after the money has been spent and I’ve spent a couple of years thinking groovy thoughts with similar-minded groovy people, I’ll be forced to server Shiner Bock and BBQ at the Rib House in Boulder. And I simply cannot afford that financially, professionally, emotionally and any other -ally(s) you can think of.  But I also have a strong belief that this is the right path for me. I’ve been studying the field for a couple of years now; I’m a LEED AP, I’ve mentored with some great people in the field and I’m currently enrolled in the Sustainability Management Program at CU so I’m invested.

So, I spent this morning working on my personal essay, identifying my goals and professional history and ambitions. It’s kind of tough. I have had to think back through my career and see if I can detect any themes that have brought me to this point and to continue successfully show how an MBA can help.  I’m having to think about important professional experiences and I suspect they don’t want to hear about the time my co-worker and I laughed so hard people on the other side of the building could hear us, or how we coped being unable to drink the water at another place I worked. I’m fairly certain that graduate schools are swelling with new applicants since the economy did its dance on the brink and lots of people are casting their attention backwards at their experiences over the years.  One thing about it, we do spend a lot of time at work. A LOT. And I do  wonder how much of it is a luxury to say I want to do something meaningful or fulfilling, if it is just self-indulgent crap to think this way. But I guess if you are given a chance to make a difference why wouldn’t you. And if you do have the luxury to look back over your accomplishment I guess your more beholden in many ways to have actually done something other than makes gobs of cash a la Goldman Sachs (I mean, really, all that education and breaks in life and what did they produce or create other than wealth for themselves).

Tonight I am off to yet another networking event. This one is called the “Colorado Green Tech Group April Meetup” and it’s a biggie and I only have two remaining biz cards. What happens if I’m a hit. Maybe I’ll auction them off.